I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize