do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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