i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
