from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
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I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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