Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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