areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
