I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
