You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
