im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
