She is in my trunk
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
