No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
BRING THE BAGELS
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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