It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
