Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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