I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...