2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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