I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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