The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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