i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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