Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
