You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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