So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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