Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
