Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
