The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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