and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
