So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
