My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize