school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
