SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
