I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize