I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.