sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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