apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
