No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
