my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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