Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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