You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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