Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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