You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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