Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
