i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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