Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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