Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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