Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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