you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
