Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
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Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
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FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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