Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
