I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Randomize
