My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
