Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Bring me that man meat
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
