Jerry, you need to find god
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
