I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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