sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize