talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
