shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
its liver damage thursday
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